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Today, we're going to talk about why you want the men that don't want you. This is actually very interesting because I bet a lot of you guys ask yourselves why you keep falling for dudes who don't want you. This happened to me also, when I was younger, so we're going to talk about this and we're going to find out why it happens.
Naturally, human beings have a certain reaction to rejections. When you get rejected by someone, you naturally feel inferior. With me, I used to fall with women a lot because I wasn't giving them distance. It's because whenever you're thinking of somebody and whenever you want to see them every day, you invest but I swear to God when I simply began seeing women once a week, all of a sudden, I stopped demanding a lot from them.
Remember, your happiness is a function of expectation so when you expect men to be your 100% all, to be someone that completely fulfils you, any hint of not getting it will give you anxiety and that anxiety is a feeling of not being loved. When you feel that, you're naturally panicking inside and you begin to over pursue even more. It's all because you have an unrealistic expectation of people.
What you got to do is to not expect the person to be your all. Lower your standards not in terms of the people you pick but in terms of how much you demand from them initially. Don't demand that much--don't demand to see them more than once a week at least for the first month or so. Why? It's because it gives you the space to think logically and it gives you the space to react to his event with some distance.
What you got to have is a logical reaction to people pulling away. You got to break people down to size and stop seeing men as figures that will make you happy. You got to realize that that will never happen. The thing is, sometimes, when you fall in love quick is because deep down you want a father--a father to give you the comfort you never had. What you got to do is tap into your inner father. Everybody has a male and female inside. Some women haven't tapped into their "healthy" masculine--it's when you begin to depend on yourselves and you begin to look for that inner father within you. This is a whole other subject but I'll make a video about this this week. It's mind-blowing to me.
Anyways, that's one of the reasons why. You just have to learn how to deal with people's reaction in a logical way so that's why I tell you guys to have rules--if he doesn't text you back at a certain time, you do this or if he does this, you do that. When you meet people, control your fantasies. When you see them more than once a week, what happens is that you begin to expect more so control. When you see them once a week, you will forget them eventually within that week but that gives you the space to think more logically.
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