After a bit of hunting (and one attempted departure) the officers eventually turned a corner... and there she was: their caller — a woman covered in the better part of a gallon of fresh milk. (Not to be outdone, the caller's friend was giving herself a liberal dose of 2% as well.)
Some science:
In 2008 the medical journal "Prehospital Emergency Care" published an article titled "A Randomized Controlled Trial Comparing Treatment Regimens for Acute Pain for Topical Oleoresin Capsaicin (Pepper Spray) Exposure in Adult Volunteers." The study's lead investigator was Dr. James D. Barry of the Brooke Army Medical Center Department of Emergency Medicine at Fort Sam Houston, Texas, and his work evaluated the relative efficacy of five different pepper spray treatments: Maalox, 2% lidocaine gel, baby shampoo, milk, and water. Forty-four men and five women, with an average age of 24 years, participated in the study. Its conclusion? There was no significant difference in pain relief between the different treatment regimens. The best predictor for decrease in pain was simply time.
Save your milk. Or better yet, don't get maced.
~~~
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